Pseudo-Relationship as what I understand

Pseudo-Relationship as what I understand By: Germund B. Compuesto Pseudo-Relationship… in my 24 years that I’ve lived in this earth I can’t even say or explain how it feels. But one thing for sure…. It is like a purgatory between heaven and hell or I guess it is a limbo. For those people who don’t know limbo, it is the world of ghosts that kept on waiting for the heaven to open up until they are being judged. Well… I guess the word pseudo- relationship was born in there. Whoever invented this kind of concept is either a sadist or a masochist; I mean… who the hell would invent the concept of being like hanged in the air. It’s like you are in the middle of heaven and hell waiting for glory or despair. How I wish I could talk to the person that invented this word. As what I could define it… it’s like you’re in a relationship but you’re not… a feeling of being romanticized but there is also a feeling of being left. A no strings attached thing and at the end you might end up hurting each other. God knows how much it hurts, how much it kills your mental status. But it is also a way to enjoy life coz you will be deprived with sleep while thinking about the person you’re so hooked up while you don’t even know what she is thinking. I guess it is a feeling of being crazy. I mean who the hell want this kind of feeling of being hanged in the air while your feelings are so extreme that you can’t even know what to do with it. The feeling you wanted to kiss her but you cannot, the feeling of you badly want her in your life but you can’t even touch her hand and worse… if you’re going to talk about getting into serious-type-conversation, may the angel falls down or the devils went up but saying I love You in a Pseudo relationship is an Effing capital sin. I’ve had more than ten relationships in my life but this kind of crap doesn’t deserve for a couple or lovers that wanted to test their faith from it. There is one thing that I perceived for this concept; it is “Hypocrisy!” Im sorry for those people doing this kind of concept but playing with something you cant even see or touch is something outrageous. The feeling of being loved by someone can only be appreciated but it can never be defined nor explained. Call me an asshole, a mistaker, a warfreak or fucked up but I know that love can never be played around. Especially when you felt getting hurt and all you can do is cry in the middle of the night, enduring those nightmares, and inevitable tears and you cannot do anything about it but only watch while you get hurt and she gets hurt.

I wish never had that drink

I wish never had that drink By: Germund B.Compuesto It’s been two weeks now and I can still feel the regret. Now you’re feeling cold to me and I can’t blame you to feel that way. If I could only turn back the time and do it all over again, ill hug you while you were crying and feeling horrible. I wish never had that drink to ease my pain, ease the feeling of slowly piercing my heart while watching you cry. Those memories that cut my sleep in the night and there is not even a second nor a minute that Im dreaming the time you were looking for me to seek comfort while I was just thinking about myself drinking to forget the way you cry, the way you look at me with a deep suffering from your eyes while your tears fall down from your cheeks. I know you don’t understand why, but I just can’t stand looking at you while I can’t do anything to make it stop. Every time you tell me you don’t have to do anything to make it stop, it even hurts like forever doing nothing but stare the way you suffer from your past. Until now I’m still feeling that greatest regret in my life and i really wish I never had that drink. Each night that I sleep, it cuts my peace of mind hoping it was all just a dream. If I could only turn back that night and pretend that it didn’t happened. If this was all a dream how I wish someone would wake me up coz ill do everything right now to escape this trance, begging to anyone to get me out of this guilt, this unfathomable pain. Worse of all.. You’ve change that way you look and stare at me, the you speak, the way you treat me, the way we jive, the way we care each other and worst, the way we treat each other like nothing special happened. It even hurts like hell when I cannot even hold your hand, I cannot even stare at your straightforwardly and even cry at your shoulders which I needed the most right now. Please bring me back from those laughter that is sweeter than a honey sap, bring back those happy thoughts that could even stop our time while we get crazy day outs. God please turn everything back when I was fixing her bad hair day. Turn it all back from the time I was kissing her so pure that no can could even imagine those poured out feelings of care, and unconditional love. Let me stop the time for a thousand years and contain it with romance again. I can no longer bare the feeling of demise without her as I ease my silent cries and sleepless nights. I wish I never had that drink, I wish I never had that drink, I wish I never had that drink! It’s like a poison eating my heart inside out while I just watch her pass by pretending everything is fine.

Isolate

Isolate by: Germund B. Compuesto Died in reality born in fantasy, it’s like a heroin that makes you addictive. A trance of a never ending memory caged by laughter and tears, going back the way it used to be isn’t an option to see. Stricken by pain and swallowed by numbness it partakes. The sun no longer embrace me yet the moon always forsaken me. Pain is a state of mind that you couldnt neither shut off nor be restrained. Hence the memories lurk by bounded promises and never letting go can only be seen in fantasy. as i shed my tears and made me into a full metal heart is only i can convey. I could only have you in my dreams while laughing and crying as i remember those bonds we’ve made. Goodbye is the only thing i can say, pain is unbearable, cuts like a knife slowly piercing each and every moment i remember. Wishing everything could shut down, like a manual reset of those mistakes and regrets. Regret kills every dreams, every strength every smile every goodness, everything that makes you sane. In every demise, there is truth and vindication, in every demise transforms everything. Swallowed into the dark hanging by a thread with a cross on the right hand and a knife on the other come what may. Hoping the he sees below each and every pain that never ends the suffering. Everything is almost gone until there’s nothing left in my heart. Pain and regret is never the answer yet it was given through mistakes.

Nothingness

Nothingness by: Germund B. Compuesto i have nothing say coz words are just to hard to come out, saying okay and fine is all ai can say, and without a signle noise my minds gone blank each and every day, i no longer think and leave it all to come what may, no words could pursuade the depth of my demise, isolates reality turning into a dream, i've been dreaming every moment, every minute, without closing my eyes to sleep, while trying to get aq hold of my grip, from losing myself to losing my soul, each and every second that i count, each and every blink that i make, eating up hatred and regret i partake, compassion and love i forsake, everything's change, evverything's unsaid, everythings fake, everything's unseen.

kamatayan sa katahimikan

kamatayan sa katahimikan by: Germund B. Compuesto kailan ba ko matatahimik sa aking pagiisip, kailan ba makakamit ang kawalan ng pighati, ninais kong lumayo at mawala, ngunit hindi pa rin maibsan ang pagkawala, wari'y tadhanang napaglalaruan, wari'y kalungkutan tanging kaibigan, natuyo't na ang aking mga luha, sa iyong paglisan sa walang hangang pagluluksa, sa bawat patak ng pagsisisi, sa bawat kirot ng damdaming kailanma'y hindi makubli, kailan nga ba makakamit ang katahimikan? sigaw ang suntok sa buwan ng kawalan, kailan nga ba ako namatay sa kalungkutan? masaya sa harapan ng marami, kamatayan sa tuwing pagiisa at pagkukubli, hindi ko na marahil mabilang kung kelan namatay ang aking puso, animo'y isang dagok ng pagkakasala ang pagsasaya, patawad sayo o aking sinisinta, hindi ako naging mabuti ngunit pagkukulang ang inala'y sayo.

ano ba talaga ang RH bill lets say no!

Ang pinaka kontrobersyal na uspin sa kasalukuyan ay ang debate sa RH bill. Ang RH bill o tinatawag rin itong Repropductive Health bill ay nagmumungkahi sa lipunan na magkaroon ng pagbabago sa pilipnas laban sa kahirapan. Ngunit, alinsunod sa patakaran ng moral na kaisipan, ang RH bill ay isang usaping nagbubukas ng liberal na kaisipan at alintuntunin sa lipunan. Nais nitong ipahiwatig sa mga tao ang pagamit ng family planning, mga paraan sa tamang pagamit ng kontrasepsyon at ang kontrobersiyang sex education o pagtuturo sa mga estudyante alinsunod sa kahulugan ng sex. Ang sabini Cong. Edcel Lagman isa sa mga kongresita na nagsusulong ng RH bill ay isa itong paraan para macontrol ang populasyon ng lipunan na nagdudulot ng kahirapan sa bansa, ngunit sa aking palagay ito ay isang stratehiya lamang ng mga kapitalistang kompanya tulad ng unilever, fizer at iba pa para magkaroon sila ng benepisyo sa mga taong walang kamuwang muwang sa mga ganitong usapin.

Nagkaroon din ng balita na si Cong. Edcel Lagman ay napangakuan ng mga higanteng kompanya na magkakaroon siya ng commission pag naipasa niya ito sa kamara. Nakasaad din sa loob ng batas ng magkakaroon na tinatawag na “abortion management” o ang pagbibigay karapatan ng gobyerno para magkaroon ng alituntunin ang mga nagpaabort kung paano matatalo ang post abortion complications. Ang rason na ito ay isa sa mga paraan para mapalakas ang loob ng mga nagbabalak na kababaihan na gawin ang aborsyon. Ayon sa mga experto, ang RH bill ay isang binusrang batas sa ibang bansa dahil sa naging epekto nito sa lipunan. Isang malinaw na ebidensiya nito ang pag unti ng tao sa Canada. Ang bansang Canada ay isa sa mga nagapruba ng batas ukol sa RH bill.

Ngayon ang bansang Canada ay isa sa mga naghahanap na ng mga bagong immigrante para lang mapadami ang mga kabataan sa kanilang populasyon. Dahil sa RH bill na naipasa sa kanilang gobyerno nagkaroon ng pangangamba sa bansa na pag unti n g panganganak at pagdarami ng namamtay. Ito rin ay pinasundan ng bansa New Zealand at iba pang mga bansa.

Ang pagbabago tungo sa isang modernong pamumuhay ay isang daan para sa kaularan. Hindi masama kapag ito’y ginagamit lamang sa kabutihan. Ngunit kapag ito’y hinaluan ng kasamaan at kasakiman dahil lamang sa pansariling kapakanan ito ay maaring makasira sa lipunan. Ang RH bill ay hindi dapat maipasa sa kamara alang-alang lamang sa kinbukasan ng susunod na henrasyon. Ika nga may kasabihan “Kung sisimulan natin ang pagbabago sa isang masama at immoral na paraan, ano ba ang isasagot nating matatanda sa ating mga anak at sa susunod pang henerasyon kung paano tayo naging maunlad na bansa?” kaya ba natin sabihin sakanila na nagkaroon ng maginhawang buhay ang ating lipunan ay dahil sa pagpatay at pagpigil ng populasyon ng bansa.

I Remember

I feel like crying but my tears keep holding back,
I feel like dying but my fears lurks inside,
I feel like alone in an empty room as I roam,
I picked up the broken pieces,
As I stare these weathered roses,

I remember the day you hold my hand,
And kissed you in a seaside sand,
I remember hugging you tight,
And never let you go with all my might,
I remember the day that you said you love me,
But I’m still overwhelmed the day that you left me,

I will always love you until the end of time,
For time is never the reason why you are mine,
But those memories we’ve shared in a line,

You will always be in my heart,
And my heart will never be apart,
I will remember the day when I first glance to your face,
Your smile the makes me daze.